somewhere in neverland
by long time brother
Summary: peter / wendy: In which Wendy Darling becomes a stalker, sorry, an observer, her brothers get roped into becoming 'Darling Distractions' and Peter Pan wonders when the Darling clan got so weird. Also, where are the cookies?


**A/N:** So there's this new webseries that I've just found out about - The New Adventures of Peter and Wendy. IT IS SO AMAZING JUST ARGH YOU ALL NEED TO WATCH IT PRONTO. That's where I got the inspiration for this one. And I didn't know where else to put it. I hope you enjoy it! Plus, I think I have an unhealthy obsession with cookies...

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**somewhere in neverland**

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_'Wendy, run away with me,_

_I know I sound crazy,_

_Do you see what you've done to me?'_

.

.

"You're such a stalker."

"I'm not stalking!"

"You're crouched behind his car, watching them try to suck each other's souls, Wendy Darling," John Darling says dryly as he kneels next to her.

Wendy tries to look dignified. "I'm … _observing_," she tells him stiffly, although her 'I'm So Regal I'm Practically The Queen of England' look is ruined when Peter Pan and Lily Bagha make their way to his car and in a blind panic, she pushes at her big brother's chest, annoyed when he hardly budges. "Holy crap, they're coming—we've got to hide!"

John rolls his eyes but moves when Wendy bats at him some more. The Darling siblings, on all fours, crawl to the back of the car quickly as Peter drops an affectionate kiss on Lily's nose, laughing, and Wendy scowls, pushing back her messy hair with a muddy hand. John pushes at her and the two hide behind Peter's car, flopping against the wall.

"The things I do for you," he mutters. "Do you see what you've done to my suit? Do you?"

"It's nothing a spin in the washing machine won't fix."

"THE WASHING MACHINE? ARE YOU INSANE? DID OUR MOTHER TEACH YOU NOTHING?"

"John, shut up! He'll hear us!"

"…Wendy? What are you guys doing here? And John—what's up with your suit?"

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So Peter doesn't buy their excuse of selling cookies on account of the fact that Wendy doesn't have cookies, John is trying to smile and they're both hiding behind his car. Wendy looks adorably sheepish with leaves and twigs stuck in her hair and John's signature suit is so creased he wonders if the man sitting with Wendy Darling is actually an alien.

"Wendy, I'm going home to change," John announces stiffly.

Yeah, that's John Darling.

"Wendy, what are you guys doing here?" Peter asks as Wendy tries to sneak out with her brother. Before she says anything about cookies, he adds, "_Really_ doing here?"

"Snookums!" Lily calls coyly, "what's keeping you?"

"Snookums?" Wendy repeats, trying (and failing) to stifle a giggle as she brushes herself off casually. "Sorry for busting in on your date, Snookums, but I just had to see this."

"See what?" Peter raises an eyebrow. "Me?"

She bats at his arm, laughing as she gets up. Peter pretends not to notice the heat flaring up from his arm where Wendy touched him.

"Oh, get over yourself, Peter Pan!" Wendy scolds. "But you and the Tiger? I wouldn't have missed it for the world!"

The car door slams open and a visibly annoyed Lily storms out as Peter groans inwardly. Uh oh, here comes trouble.

"What is _she_ doing here?" Lily snarls angrily. "You know how—,"

"I'm his best friend," Wendy replies quickly, "and … I was here to give him cookies!"

"I don't see any cookies."

"They're … ahem, invisible?" Wendy closes her eyes momentarily as Peter lets out a snort.

Lily turns away from Wendy and says to Peter, "You have sixty seconds. Or we're over. Do you hear me? O-V-E-R."

The brunette swishes her hair airily and flounces off back to the car, opening it. She shoots Wendy a dark glare that Wendy returns with a jovial smile and taunting wave of her fingers before getting in. Peter rubs at his temples.

"Wendy—,"

"I'm going, don't worry!"

"No, it's," Peter swallows and the atmosphere begins to push and pull, electricity sparking as Wendy looks up at him questioningly.

"What is it?" she asks breathlessly.

"I—,"

"Yes?"

The two seemingly begin to move closer, Peter's fingers lightly dancing over Wendy's bare arm and he's only seventeen but already he's taller than her. Wendy's always been short (trust him, he's been shoe shopping with her; she's a little scary when she can't find the perfect heels) but she seems even shorter when Peter's towering over her like this. Her soft blue eyes stare up at him and small tendrils of red hair fall over her ears, falling out of her bun; Wendy's fingers reach up to push them out but Peter stops her with a hypnotised shake of his head. His hand clutches hers and they're so close their lips are almost touching—

"PETER!"

The two spring apart instantly.

Peter throws an apologetic look towards Wendy as she smiles teasingly and says, "Go; the she-devil's a-calling!"

"Save me some invisible cookies," he calls as he rushes around the car and gets in.

Wendy's smile stays fixed to her face until her cheeks begin to ache. She takes a breath before pulling out her phone and firing off a quick text.

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"Wendy!"

"Are you okay? Are you alright?"

"Why do you look completely fine? Why does she look completely fine?'

"You're perfectly fine—_damn_ it, Wendy; I was ironing my new shirt!" John says as he brushes down invisible creases on his shirt self-consciously. "What if people look at me and realise there's a crease here?"

Wendy blinks at the point on John's shirt he's furiously jabbing at and replies, "Uh, I don't think that's a problem, John."

"And I was just finishing the last of John's secret stash of cookies!" Michael groans and when John begins to crossly retort, he adds, "We gave you the emergency text code in case of an emergency. If you want me to stay, you'd better have cookies."

"I have muffins?" Wendy says sheepishly, offering up a box of chocolate muffins.

Michael shrugs. "Good enough," he takes a muffin and points it at Wendy, "but don't think this is getting you off. They're not cookies."

John's scanning their surroundings and his eyes narrow in suspicion as Wendy grabs her brothers, drags them over to the back of the restaurant and tugs them down. They flop against the restaurant wall; Wendy in the middle with a bacteria-conscious John practically leaping sky-high in the air—"Wendy, there's bacteria teeming here!"—and an 'I Can Only Think Of My Stomach' Michael diving for the muffin. Wendy rolls her eyes and sneakily throws glances towards the window above them.

"We really need to talk about your crazy stalker issues, Wendy," Michael tells her around a mouthful of muffin, spraying bits of chocolate all over a disgusted John who uses Wendy as a shield.

"Michael, stop spraying me on purpose, you disgusting—," John stops and takes a breath. "Okay, Wendy. For the first time and quite possibly the last, Michael is right."

"Exactly!" Michael nods and then frowns. "Wait, wha—,"

"You have been friends with Peter for years—why can't you just accept your feelings for him and tell him? Like a normal person?"

"That's ridiculous," Wendy replies, sticking her nose up in the air. "I don't have any feelings whatsoever for Peter. I'm not in love with him, why would you say such a thing, John?"

"He didn't," Michael grins at his sister. 'You did."

Wendy splutters. "We—I—you—he's coming!" she whisper-screams, eyes widening and presses herself against the wall. "Michael, stop chewing so loudly; he'll hear you! Stop panicking! All of you guys, just keep quiet and stop panicking! Did I already say that?"

John glances up. "Wendy, he's going to the bathroom."

"I knew that."

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"What exactly did you hope to achieve by calling us over here, Wendy?" John asks as Michael plays Temple Run, complete with his own sound effects. "Michael, you are giving me a throbbing headache. And I swear at least three people have noticed the crease on my shirt. They're laughing at me!"

Wendy rolls her eyes. "John, I just—I needed you guys to become Darling Distractions."

"Did I hear cookie?" Michael glances up curiously.

"Darling Distractions," Wendy explains, ignoring Michael, "are something I've just made up; you guys have to have a manly chat with Peter while I go and scare off Lily. Let's go!"

John puts a restraining hand on Wendy's arm. "Wendy, my dear sister, I say this with all of my heart," he tells her, "you are completely and utterly insane. What's wrong with just talking to Peter than scaring off his girlfriends?"

"Scaring off his girlfriends is more fun?"

"How about _I_ scare off Lily?" Michael offers, eyes glinting with mischievousness.

"No," both Wendy and John say simultaneously.

"You're no fun," the youngest Darling brother pouts before tapping at his iPhone. "But, seriously, Wendy, you need to face your fears, take that leap and tell Peter how you really feel about him."

"Really?" Wendy bites her lip.

"No—I was just saying that because John offered to pay me ten pounds and a box of cookies."

John scowls and Wendy smiles brightly.

"So Plan Darling Distraction is a-go?"

.

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"Because we're manly men," Michael coughs, "could you buy me a cookie?"

Peter lets out a startled yelp. "What the hell are you guys doing here?"

John straightens his shirt self-consciously. "We're doing our business," he replies stiffly. "In the men's. Obviously. Because that's what you do in the men's. Your business. Right, John?"

"Right," Michael nods. "But, seriously, man. Cookies?"

.

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"Hey, Lily!" Wendy says as she drops herself in Peter's chair. "Fancy seeing you here!"

Lily frowns at her, glancing up from her phone. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm with my brothers," Wendy replies quickly. "You know, for what it's worth, I think you're really brave."

"Brave?"

"For dating Peter?"

"What are you talking about?"

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"Uh, John, I kind of have to get back to Lily," Peter says as he tries to dodge around John.

"YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" Michael yells as he throws himself against the bathroom door and groans, clutching his arm. "I think I got a booboo…"

"You don't have to get back to Lily," John tells him and his wise eyes shine. "You don't have to do anything you don't want to do."

Peter frowns at him. "What are you talking about?"

"I see you with my sister, Peter," John says, as a small smile pushes at his lips. "Stop playing dumb. Everyone knows you're in love with her."

Michael calls, "And so do I! Because she's my sister, too! So man the hell up!"

Red seeps into Peter's cheeks.

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"And then he told the teacher, 'I know you are but what am I?' and—,"

Lily throws up her hands. "Wendy, I think I've heard enough," she begins as she puts her phone into her purse and a small smile flickers around her features.

"But I haven't even gotten to the good bit, yet!" Wendy protests but Lily's already getting out of her seat.

"Wendy?"

Wendy begins to blush. "Oh. Hi, Peter," she says as Peter barrels out of the bathroom and her brothers fall out behind him. She shoots them a panicked look and Michael returns with a helpless look and turns to ask the nearest waitress for cookies while John only smiles annoyingly at her, hands absentmindedly smoothing his shirt.

"What are you doing here, Wendy?" Peter asks and Wendy rushes to Michael's side, grabbing her brother by the arm.

"See?" she babbles. "They don't have cookies! Now we have to go home! Let's go!"

Wendy's about to duck out of the restaurant but Lily clears her throat and rolls her eyes. "Oh my god, you guys are the most _infuriating_ people I've ever met!" she says. "And I've met a lot of people. You would not believe—anyway, I'm getting carried away."

She stalks up to Peter and Wendy, grabs them by the arm and forces them to turn towards each other.

"Peter," Lily begins, "you're cute but too immature for me. And you're too in love with your best friend so I don't even have a chance."

Peter goes red.

Wendy gapes.

"Yeah—I said it!" she continues. "You guys are hopelessly, completely, stupidly in love with each other and you don't even see it! Just do us all a favour and get together already!"

The restaurant bursts out in applause.

Michael sniffs. "That was way too _When Harry Met Sally_ for me," he dabs at his eyes and when everyone's staring at him in surprise, adds, "Wendy forced me to watch it with her once."

"No, I didn't—," Wendy begins.

"Yes, you did!" Michael interrupts but John rolls his eyes.

Already the world begins to blur and Peter smiles down at Wendy whose eyes shine brightly, as his hand find hers, fingers intertwining with each other. They can see nobody else but each other.

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**fin**

**A/N CONTINUED:** John, in this story, is twenty, Peter, Lily and Wendy are all seventeen and Michael's fifteen. Hope you enjoyed this! :)


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